“I forgive you” can be hard to say. Forgiving people who have hurt us, wronged us, or abused us is difficult. Sometimes, we feel people don’t deserve to be forgiven for the harm they have done. And sometimes we are not worthy of forgiveness either.
We have to work at forgiveness. I know I do. We have to make a conscious decision to stop being angry or resentful. Then it’s a battle to let go or hold onto our resentments. We know we should forgive, especially as Jesus encourages us to do so. And also, because the Bible tells us there is a connection between forgiving others and being forgiven by God.
“If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14 GNT).
Forgiveness is good for our health
Forgiving is also good for our well-being. Google says so. But, also studies have shown that forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety, and can lead to lower blood pressure.
Even if forgiving others benefits ourselves, it takes time to work through the process. Often forgiving feels like the other person unfairly gains from our act. It’s as if we are releasing them from taking responsibility or it gives that person the opportunity to behave in the same way again. We shouldn’t diminish this process. We should not feel guilty or pressured into forgiving before we are ready.
So, yes, “I forgive you” is hard to say. Sometimes we do it easily, other times it can be “not right now” and maybe, even though we don’t like to admit it, our answer is “never.”
There’s another aspect of forgiveness that we shouldn’t forget. We may refuse to forgive ourselves. We look at what we have done or what we have said, and feel we don’t deserve the compassion and leniency we often show other people who have done similar things. We can be hard on ourselves. Perhaps that’s where you are right now.
Forgiveness is at the heart of relationships that go well
And there’s another benefit to forgiveness that we should focus on. Forgiveness is at the heart of relationships that go well. It is crucial in our relationships with each other. It is critical for having a healthy way of thinking about ourselves.
But most of all, forgiveness is central to our relationship with God. God’s mercy and forgiveness are what give us a fresh, new start.
God’s forgiveness is not like our efforts to forgive. There is an important difference. God’s forgiveness is always on offer to you and me. God’s forgiveness comes at a cost to himself but is free for us.
Jesus’ last words were “it is finished.” He had finished the work he came to do on earth — to die and take the blame we deserve, so we can hear those words “Father, forgive them.” (Luke 23:34).
As Jesus gasped his final breath, a seismic shift took place. The way to God was opened up. We can now step right into God’s presence without the fear of condemnation.
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
There is never a “maybe” or “never” with God. As soon as we ask God to forgive us for what we have done our wrongdoing is forgiven and forgotten. Here’s how Psalm 103 in The Message puts it:
God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins.
Perhaps that’s the inspiration we need to forgive others and ourselves—knowing the enormity of God’s mercy and forgiveness of us.
Pray
Valuable explanation on forgiveness