Seasons of grief are some of the most difficult times to trust God. I’m delighted Michelle Rabon is sharing her story and I hope it encourages you to have bold faith in a season of grief. #BeBoldGirl
I laid next to him, his hair was beginning to fall out, and his strength was starting to fail. He shared his dreams; to get married, have a family like mine, but most of all to be happy. He was in a sense begging God for another chance, asking for a future. I still remember hearing his voice between labored breaths as the cancer in his lungs robbed him of air. His words scarred my heart knowing my brother most likely wouldn’t get that chance.
I watched him fade away day by day. I would spend Sunday afternoons reading to him, listening to his stories, and tried my best to answer all of his questions about God. A relationship between brother and sister that was once broken became fully mended in this season of sickness.
My heart was utterly shattered the day we buried my brother. Losing someone you love doesn’t ever feel fair. It’s in the hardest losses my faith has felt challenged, even questioned. “Do you really trust God? Is He really still a good God?” I learned that without a grounded faith I wouldn’t survive the waves that were to come.
My brother wasn’t the first devastating loss I have faced in my thirty years; three grandparents, my dad, my aunt, two miscarriages, my mother-in-law and a dozen friends. I am no stranger to the scars of grief. My heart is etched with loss.
Each season of grief has prepared me for the next season to follow. I have learned that without bold faith I will drown in the anxiety and sorrow that come with watching the end of a life, the devastation that comes from the unexpected. Without bold faith in Christ, I would fail to see hope in the darkness.
It takes the wild and bold kind of faith to face a loss so significant. Faith means clinging to immeasurable hope. Grieving without hope is anguish to the soul, but grieving with the hope of Christ brings life to our most profound pain.
Bold faith isn’t always easy, but it is born from immeasurable confidence in God. The belief that He is still good regardless of my circumstances, He won’t leave my side even when the lonely ache of sadness pierces my heart, and despite my feelings, it doesn’t have to dictate my worship.
My brother was sick for only a short season, too short when we begged God for time. My Dad died without warning on a Wednesday night in October. I held my Mother-in-law’s hand as she took her final breath on earth. Miscarriages came by surprise, friends faded too quickly, and the brevity of life becomes so very real. Bold faith in seasons of grieving has nothing to do with the strength within us, our bravery will fail us in these moments, but the Spirit of the Living God will hold you up.
Bold faith says to the waves of grief “Let the waters rise.”
Michelle Rabon is a wife and mom of three who is learning to embrace the messiness of life and walk in the grace of God. When she isn’t chasing or homeschooling her little ones, she is teaching women how to grow deeply in God’s Word and walk in His truth. Connect with Michelle on her Displaying Grace blog, Instagram or Facebook.
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