For several months my dining table has hosted not only meals but also a collection of vintage Barbie doll shoes. As friends have eyed the candy-colored accessories on display, I’ve shared about my work on this series of collages, attempting to reveal what’s on my heart.
My journey as an artist and writer began as soon as I could hold a crayon. My family has always encouraged me to create. However, sharing my creative output with a wider and public audience is calling me to a new level of bold, which I cannot achieve under my own power.
I was not born bold. I need the Lord to help me grow bolder.
Tweet ThisPlaying with Barbie dolls and creating their stories was a world in which I could pretend to be bold. Not only did I sew clothes, build furniture and style houses for them, I also borrowed my mother’s sized 41 clogs to create my favorite doll cars.
My mother’s large shoes simultaneously accommodated my imagination and matched her capacity for being bold. She would try, do and say almost anything to anyone.
The Lord first encouraged me to pursue being an artist and writer via the story of Joshua (see Joshua 1) as he leads the Israelites into their promised inheritance. The Lord commands Joshua to be “strong and courageous.” My mother was my model for Joshua.
I found myself trying to emulate my mother’s boldness as I grew out of pretending with my dolls; however, I was timid. Even as my shoe size was approaching hers, I did not fill my mother’s bold shoes. I found it hard to give my opinion, ask for what I wanted and share with others that I am an artist.
I began my career producing and designing girls’ dresses. It was creative work, and I was sharing my talents—but little of my heart. Two other subsequent jobs left me with similarly empty success. When I painted in my free time, my art also tended to be technically correct yet lacked that something special that connected it with others’ hearts, and my own.
By the world’s standards, I was successful at all of these endeavors. But the so-called Promised Land into which I had marched felt empty.
For many years I thought being bold meant to respond to the call and journey forward like a soldier. The Lord showed me that my version of boldness did not match His. If He was walking with me, as He had with Joshua (Joshua 1:9), He wanted a love connection between us.
A love relationship with Him fills the Promised Land.
I prayed to know the Lord in deeper ways and for Him to know me. I soaked up His Word like never before, and I asked Him to heal me so that I could let Him know me. I began to allow the Lord’s love—a love which invites me daily me to walk in His call for my life—to fuel my steps.
As I began a journey to connect to the Lord’s heart and let him fully see my heart, my boldness began to grow.
I began to share my passion to speak into the culture around me through my work. My art began to express the love of the Lord that I was experiencing. As I continued to open my heart to Him, my work also began to connect me with others and others to my work.
It’s taken years for me to be comfortable sharing my heart through my creative work. Each time I’m faced with insecurity about sharing my heart, I remember that the Lord is next to me in love, ready to pick me up as needed.
Reflecting on these shoes on my table reminds me of my journey in which the Lord has grown me from…
…playing with doll shoes—pretending to be bold to…
…trying to fill my mother’s shoes—thinking I was bold to…
…filling my own shoes—boldly sharing my heart through art and writing.
I am growing bolder because of His love for me and my relationship with Him.
Sarah is an artist and writer who is growing bolder as she delves deeper into her relationship with the Lord. A glimpse into Sarah’s journey is included as a “Her Story” contributor in Carey Scott’s book, Untangled: Let God Loosen the Knots of Insecurity in Your Life. Sarah resides in Golden, Colorado with Fig, her diva dachshund. As soon as she heals from recent arm surgery, she will be back producing new paintings and prints—and hopefully writing more. Sarah’s website is www.sarahsams.com and her newer work is featured in her Etsy shop. Also, be sure to connect with her on Facebook and Pinterest and look for her soon on Instagram @SarahSamsArt.
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Linking up with Crystal Storms at #IntentionalTuesday and Jaime Weibel at #SittingAmongFriends
Sarah, what a great piece! Your words speak life. Now I understand when you speak from your heart and begin to tear with emotion. You are momentarily caught up in the love of the One who gave you your voice. Love you my brave and bold sister.
Thank you for your encouragement Pam!
I was born bold, Sarah, but still needed the Lord. He had to teach–maybe I should say ‘is still teaching me–to bridle my boldness! 🙂 So bold or timid, we all need Him to perfect us 🙂 Hallelujah! Thank you for your post!
Caryl, I agree that timid or bold, we need Jesus to guide our path. I love your use of the word of “bridle” and the picture it shares!
Sarah, thanks for making the important point that we’re all on a journey of “bold” faith in a God who won’t let us down. Fascinated by yours!
Michele, thank you for your encouraging words!
Thanks Sarah for sharing your journey with us! I look forward to seeing where God leads you. Our paths are unique and He has a plan for all of us, keep following where He leads! #SittingAmongFriends
Thank you Jill! I love that He gives us each unique paths. It speaks to me of His love. Thanks for following my journey via FaceBook.
Excuse, my typing..we were worth it.
Sometimes I think my shoes and my mother’s are hard to fill, but then I’m reminded of Romans 10:15 How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, whether or not in ministry, we all do minister in some way. I’ll be thinking about shoes today, and while we may feel like John the Baptist, unworthy, Jesus thought we worth it.
Rebecca, thank you for sharing. The Lord used your words to speak and minister deeply to me. I had not thought of that verse: “How beautiful are the feet….” I have tears of gratefulness and many other emotions tonight because you shared it. My mother died shortly after my “Barbie doll stage.” Her story is for another day. Today, the message is that she preached the Gospel of Peace each of her last days…you reminded me of that…and that is a huge comfort to me.
Sarah, I loved every word. You have a lovely style and in the telling of your story/testimony it truly flows from your heart. I am so very glad to be able to call you my friend and my sister in Christ through our association in Heart”wings!” I am so glad you are a part of our fellowship/ministry. j
Thank you Joyce! As far as my “style” goes, the Lord is leading in developing it and using others to help and encourage me. I can’t take credit!
Sarah… I appreciate how you link your relationship with Jesus and becoming bold. He gives us the confidence to be who we were created to be and do what He created us to do. Thank you for reminding us that Jesus is why we can be bold!
Thank you Carey. I can’t imagine my life without Jesus in it.
You can see God’s thread through all of Sarah’s journey, and not a step unused! Thank you for sharing your inspiring story.
It’s a privilege to share. Thank you for your encouragement Lynn.
Yes! Amen. I agree – my confidence grows when I place my heart and hope in HIM!
Blessings!
Sarah (www.sarahefrazer)
Thank you Sarah!