How to be Bold when You’re Lonely

Our #BeBoldGirl series begins again after a break for the summer. I am thrilled to start with the BEST #BeBoldGirl in my life, my daughter Phoebe Britton. Please leave her an encouraging comment at the end.

I struggle with feeling confident all the time. I wrestle with putting myself out there, afraid of making a bad decision, people not liking me, or saying the wrong thing.

I have gotten better in believing in who I am as a person and sticking to my core values. Not changing to get approval from someone.

However, when it comes to moving to a new place I freak out. I try to do my best in the loneliness.

I have to believe God has got me. He will lead me in the right direction. He has such a bigger and better path for me than I can ever think of.

The only way I know how to get out of the hole of being on my own is to put myself out there.

Recently I moved to Los Angeles. I was offered an internship with a visual effects studio, the exact field I wanted to go into. I couldn’t let the opportunity slip so I accepted it and moved across the country to a place I have never been before.

No family, no friends, only a couple of people I knew from my school lived here in LA.

The only way I knew how to avoid the loneliness was to meet people.

So I did my research on all the local churches in LA and deliberately devoted every Sunday to visit as many churches as possible. I would sit and listen, and afterwards I would gather all the information I could to see how I could get connected in the community.

When the community is right for you, it feels like home.

When I visited Hillsong LA for the first time, it instantly felt like I belonged, I connected with and joined the TV/Film team. Being part of this team makes me look forward to Sunday. I get excited about the day.

The team believe in me, support me, love me for who I am.

I no longer feel like a stranger —  lonely in a big city. I feet comfortable.

The pain and suffering of loneliness has all paid off. The waiting was worth it. The struggle was worth it.

But, I couldn’t have done this without God, believing in him, and knowing he has a greater plan for me.

I have to believe God has got me. He will lead me in the right direction. He has such a bigger and better path for me than I can ever think of. Yet, I have to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

As Ephesians 2:19 says:

…you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household. (NIV)

I like how The Message puts it:

That’s plain enough, isn’t it? You’re no longer wandering exiles. This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You’re no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He’s using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home. Ephesians 2:19‭-‬22 (MSG)

My advice to you if you’re feeling lonely or moving to a new place, get yourself involved with a community.

Force yourself to get out of bed, and get out of the house. It may be hard but it is so worth it.

Don’t torment yourself with “if only” statements.

You have nothing to lose because God has got you.

Most importantly you are never alone; God is always with you, so talk to him–pray.


Born into a British home, and raised in Lexington, Massachusetts, Phoebe Britton is a VFX Compositing Artist with a B.F.A from Savannah College of Art and Design.  She currently works at Electric Theatre Collective as a Junior Compositor in Santa Monica, California.  Connect with Phoebe on her website and on Instagram.

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